Finding a new way

First Person | Master Chanxing

I am 40, and my life can be divided into four stages: the fun-loving stage, academic success, devotion to others and self-transcendence.

The first two stages were before my conversion to Buddhism, and the last two after.

The four stages all had one thing in common: to pursue happiness and to avoid bitterness, though I defined happiness differently in each stage.

I spent my childhood in a family of intellectuals - both of my parents were teachers. Living conditions were comfortable.

Then I started school, and my parents placed their hopes in me and I did not disappoint them. I was a hardworking student and got excellent grades.

I taught myself math, physics and chemistry for the first year of high school and prepared extensively for the Olympiad in high school.

I enrolled in a class at the Affiliated High School of Peking University in my senior year of high school. This school took the top students from across the country - and I suddenly found that I was not the smartest person in the world.

My interest in science decreased as I had conflicts with my mentor - I was not interested in the topic of the thesis he wanted me to write. And I suddenly felt I was losing my life goals. I became frustrated with the relationship with my mentor and fellow students.

A friend who lived in the same dormitory in college started using the teachings of Buddhism to enlighten me - he had been studying Buddhism since 1993, and we used to discuss it a lot.

He gave me a book, You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay, which changed me: I used to complain a lot about others, but I was completely wrong.

Buddhism tells us that the root of all our pain and bitterness is ourselves. The only solution is to root them out from the inside, instead of resorting to the external world.

In the third stage of my life, I felt I was ready to contribute and serve, to feel the happiness I had never felt in my old life.

I had chosen cautiously between science and Buddhism. What I believe matters most for an individual is to pursue happiness and avoid bitterness in his or her life. While you can seek happiness from external conditions, which are changeable, you can always improve yourself internally, and this lasts forever.

When we try to help others, it is not a simple, smooth process. So, we should start by improving our inner life. When we meet difficulties, we ask, "Where I did go wrong?", instead of blaming others.

(China Daily Africa Weekly 02/28/2014 page26)