In the silly season, let's talk silly
Ravi s. narasimhan China Daily  Updated: 2005-12-30 06:02

Now that the silly season is well and truly upon us and is soon slipping away it might just be the reason to ruminate on what's really silly happening around us.

We had the great turkey debate to kick off the official season: Whether it was safe to have a piece of stuffed meat dipped, or covered with, cranberry sauce at a time when bird flu was rampant. Since winter had taken hold, the smart ones went for mutton hot pot.

You know it's the real silly season when the only debate in the United States seems to be about how to greet each other. Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas?

The politically unaware in China were blissfully ignorant: Merry Christmas was the call, generally. Politically-correct me said Happy Holidays. If it's good enough for Wal-Mart, it's fine with me. I wouldn't argue with a company whose turnover is more than most countries' GDP but I would certainly question an employer that tries to ban "lustful glances" in the workplace. Who would want to go to work otherwise?

Of course, the silliest part of the season is the period from a holiday-high Christmas Eve to a hangover-ridden New Year's Day which is the period in which I set my "silly" column. Here's a sample.

E-greetings: I love email. It's a wonderful invention (if that's what it's called, and not an application) which has transformed our lives. Not so sure about attachments, though. The simple, text stuff is fine but when you get e-greetings linking you somewhere which get you nowhere, it's real frustrating. They usually begin with: Your friend Andrew invites to look at E-Greet Inc... G-eeks. Hasn't anyone heard of nice, warm Christmassy cards sent by snail mail?

We wish you ... I dislike mobile phones. Especially others', which ring usually emitting funny sounds when they shouldn't, and are generally a nuisance. But imagine when you sit in a nice, posh (read expensive) restaurant and someone's device goes off with: Jingle Bells or, worse, All I Want for Christmas Is You. Is it a crime to smash an offensive mobile phone when it disturbs public order?

Santas: This ubiquitous Christmas character, it seems, you cannot escape anywhere in Beijing. At the neighbourhood Korean restaurant, the tall, graceful usher who is dressed in the elegant hanbok looked well, silly with a Santa cap on. Shouldn't we shove her boss up the chimney?

Cheers ... The occupational hazard of Christmas is raising a toast, or two, or too many. The end-of-year spirit, driven by the year-end bonus, seems to take a life of its own. The parties are more raucous, the inhibitions, well, a little less inhibited, and the flesh weaker. The result, as is well documented, is unintended office romances and loud, indiscreet mutterings to the boss. But it's an annual ritual, so how do you skip it?

Here's a gift ... Luckily, there aren't many Christmas sales on in Beijing at the moment so you don't feel so guilty not buying a gift. Even better, there are no post-Christmas sales (as shopaficionados know, that's the time for the kill). But still what do you buy for the colleague sitting next to you (she'll sit next to you for another year unless she gets promoted fat chance I will) when it seems de rigueur?

I originally meant to compile a list of 10 things (like in the Heath Ledger movie) I find grating (I use the word "hate" with deliberation) but since I am running out of space, five seems a nice number.

But hey, let me tell you what I "hate" most about the silly season.

The silly aleck who tells you on December 31: See you next year.

P.S. My New Year resolutions? Surely, there's plenty of time: They start in the Year of the Dog.

Email: ravi@chinadaily.com.cn

(China Daily 12/30/2005 page4)