Gays live a difficult life under social bias
By Raymond Zhou (China Daily)
Updated: 2005-09-06 06:25

The pitfall of marriage

The film "Wedding Banquet," directed by Ang Lee, portrays a gay son who is coerced into marriage. This is the fate of 80-90 per cent of gays in China, according to research.

Chinese director Cui Zien, an open gay man, solicits an easing manner treating gays and lesbians. [baidu]

Traditionally, the Chinese did not frown upon homosexuality as much as those in Christian countries in the West. In some dynasties such as Han, it was viewed almost as a "chic lifestyle." On the other hand, the Chinese place a tremendous emphasis on "carrying on the family line." If a man remains unmarried at the age of 30, his parents fret and nag and devote a significant amount of time to finding a spouse for him.

"What can I do? If I don't marry, I will break my parents' hearts. If I do marry, I'll ruin the life of an innocent girl," lamented Lu Youni, the Guangzhou teacher, who was, in the end, dragged into matrimony.

Some men search for lesbians in order to feign marriages that can be mutually beneficial. But since finding a lesbian is much harder than finding a gay man in China, most settle into a "marriage of convenience" in which the other party is kept in the dark. Many also want to believe that they can change their sexual orientation if they try hard enough.

These marriages invariably end in tragedy. However, they do take off much of the pressure from the family. Parents tend to believe that gay children do not remarry because they are heart-broken from their failed marriage, and if the marriage results in offspring, so much the better.

However, more and more young people oppose these arrangements on moral grounds. Unless their spouses know the situation when tying the conjugal knot, it is unethical to involve them in these cover-up schemes, they insist.

The more imminent danger is not moral, but physiological. Gay men who lead double lives are far more likely to spread the HIV virus to their families and to the heterosexual community, doctors maintain.

"Discrimination has made life difficult for gays in China," said Cai Yumao, a medical expert in Shenzhen involved in the Rainbow Work Team, a community outreach programme that helps gays on health matters. "Because they cannot lead a normal sexual life, some of them are tempted to live on the edge and take risks when it comes to sexual practices."

Cai did not deny that gays also have responsibilities and should refrain from unsafe practices no matter what. But he cautioned against the fallacy that homosexuality somehow equals AIDS or sexual diseases. "Metaphorically brushing homosexuals under the rug or throwing mud at them won't solve the problem. Rather, it will exacerbate the problem," he warned.

Page:

1

2

3

4

Close

Olympics themed jetliner ascends into the sky Best and worst dressed 2005 S. Korean TV epic hits mainland

Today's Top News     Top Life News
Siberian oil pipeline to go to China first: Putin         Six-party talks to resume September 13         President Hu due in Canada for visit         Vice-premier: Economy to grow 9% this year         China, US smash Viagra counterfeiting case         US$3.7b loan to help Taiwan-funded firms	Barbara Bush: It's good enough for the poor       Apple unveils iTunes phone, tiny iPod       Schwarzenegger vows gay marriage bill veto       Eatery told 'urine' breach of the law       Excessive sleepiness could signal depression       Chinese Buddhist monks enroll in MBA programs