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Why his 'gay wedding pledge' is important

By Radhika Sanghani | China Daily | Updated: 2016-01-02 07:47

The Most Rev Justin Welby's words show that a parent's love is more important than tradition, religion

Homosexuality has not been illegal in the UK since 1967, but that doesn't mean it has become fully accepted in those last 48 years. Far from it.

To this day gay people in Britain still report facing violence, harassment and judgement for their sexual orientation - and though they can legally marry, they cannot always do so within their own faith.

 Why his 'gay wedding pledge' is important

The Most Rev Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury. Provided to China Daily

Take the Church of England. While it publically condemns homophobia and welcomes lesbian and gay clergy, the Church still maintains that marriage is only right when it takes place between a man and a woman. To the CoE, any sexual activity that falls outside marriage is a "sin" - which echoes suggestions that to Anglican Christians, being gay is "sinful and inappropriate."

When the Government was deciding whether to make same-sex marriage legal in 2013, the Church argued against it. They lost, and though there have since been many discussions within the Church about changing its stance on sexuality, there has been little progress.

Until today. The Archbishop of Canterbury has come out and said that if any of his children were gay, he would "always love them" and would happily attend their same-sex marriages.

In an interview with Justice Secretary Michael Gove for the Spectator, he said: "Would I pray for them together? You bet I would, absolutely. Would I pray with them together? If they wanted me to. If they had a civil service of marriage, would I attend? Of course I would."

On the surface, these comments may not seem like much. The Most Rev Justin Welby has not given any indication that the CoE is changing its stance on same-sex marriage, or that at long last he is interpreting the word of God in favour of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans) people.

All he has done is speak personally as a father about always accepting his children and their sexuality.

But to me, this is far more powerful than any more pontification on the Church's position on the theological debate about marriage and human sexuality. That has been going on for years now, whereas this - a personal avowal of love trumping tradition and religious ideals - has not.

The Most Rev Welby is showing families across the world that while religion and traditional values are important, a parent's love for their child is always stronger.

He may not even have known he was doing it, but he has effectively sent out a message to any parent who has struggled to accept their child's sexuality, telling them it is wrong to punish that child for being honest about who they are.

In other words, he has spoken out against families disowning their children.

This happens more than people may think. Jasvinder Sanghera, founder of charity Karma Nirvana, wrote for the Telegraph last month about her family disowning her for fleeing a forced marriage. It was brutal but by no means an anomaly - for many victims of forced marriage, being disowned is the best possible circumstance: others are being subjected to horrific honour abuse, and even death.

I personally know of several people who have been disowned in the 21st century for marrying outside their religion, having children out of wedlock to someone the family deemed 'inappropriate', and yes, for their sexuality too.

These sorts of things happen in a variety of religions, races and cultures, but it's important to recognise that they still occur here in Britain. According to charity Stand Alone, one in five families in the UK will be affected by estrangement and more than five million people have decided to cut contact with at least one family member.

In some cases the decision is painful but necessary - such as parents who need distance from a child who is committing criminal activity, or treating them unacceptably. Recently parents of British youth who have left their families to fight with the Islamic State have spoken about the agony of trying to let go of their child and recognise they're not who they thought they were.

But when parents are disowning their children for the crime of staying true to who they are? That's unacceptable, and no matter how much those parents may try and justify it themselves or excuse it with religious beliefs, they must know they're the ones truly at fault.

No religion on earth should say otherwise, and if it does suggest that being LGBT, or marrying outside one's faith is 'wrong', then people should be inspired to follow in the Most Rev Welby's footsteps and choose acceptance over tradition.

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