借錢給親友的五大黃金法則

Getting hit up for a loan can make you feel like you’re stepping into a minefield. In today’s economy, it’s easy to understand how someone can find themselves in a dark place financially. On the one hand, you want to help out a loved one who’s in need.
當有人向你借錢時，你會感到如踏雷區。在當今的經濟形勢下，要明白他人如何身處財政噩夢并不是一件難事，但另一方面，你也想幫助親近之人擺脫危機。

On the other hand, you’ve heard the stories about loans gone wrong, with friendships ruined and families torn apart. Also, you may be depleting funds that you might need yourself, says Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., psychologist, author and producer of TheFriendshipBlog.com. Even if you’re sure that the asker will pay you back, it’s hard to know if you should proceed.
然而，你一定沒少聽過這樣的事：借錢借出了問題，導致友情破裂，家庭破碎。TheFriendshipBlog.com網站作者兼編輯，心理學博士艾琳?S?萊文表示，你還有可能因此花光自己需要的錢。即使你確信借款者會還款，你也不確定是否該把錢借出去。

To help guide you toward making the right decision, we asked financial experts to share five key things to consider before cracking open your wallet.
為了幫助各位在打開荷包前做出正確的決定，我們邀請財務專家向大家分享了5點寶貴意見。

Rule 1: Only Say Yes if You Mean It
法則1：想借再借

If you feel guilt-tripped into making the loan by the asker (“I’m desperate!”) or you question your own hesitation (“I must be a bad person or I wouldn’t feel conflicted”), then turn her down, says Levine.
萊文表示，如果你因為愧疚才借款給請求者（“我走投無路了！”）或質疑自己的猶豫不決（“我一定是個壞人，否則我就不會這么矛盾了”），那么就選擇拒絕。

If you do cough up the cash when you aren’t sure you want to, you risk feeling resentful, and that can cripple the relationship before it’s even time for her to repay you. Not going through with the loan doesn’t make you selfish or a bad friend; the response may actually protect your bond, she adds.
如果你在不確定是否想要借錢時勉強借錢給對方，那么你很可能會感到憤懣不滿，這種感覺甚至會在借款人還款前就摧毀你們間的友誼。萊文補充道，不借錢不意味著你很自私或是一個不合格的朋友，正確的回應才能真正維護你們間的感情。

Levine suggests graciously declining with a sentiment like, “I’d really like to help, but I don’t have the extra money to loan right now.” If you feel like you need to explain further, mention an unexpected expense you were recently hit with, such as higher health insurance premiums, or something you have to save for, like your kids’ college education.
萊文建議，婉拒對方時需帶著一種情感，比如“我真的很想幫助你，但現在手頭上沒有多余的閑錢。”如果你覺得有必要再做進一步解釋，那么可以提一些近期碰上的意外開銷，比如高額保險費，或像孩子的大學費用這類需要存錢的花費。

Offering to help brainstorm other sources for the loan or ways to bring down her debt (if that’s the situation) can be a thoughtful next move. A true friend or relative will be willing to accept no and then thank you for any additional help. If she doesn’t, better that your relationship sours before you’ve forked over any funds.
下一步體貼的做法是，幫助借款者找尋其他借款來源或想辦法減輕其債務（如果這是其面臨的處境）。真正的朋友或親人會接受你的拒絕并感謝你提供的任何額外幫助。如果對方不這么做，那么這段友情還是在你提供任何資金前先破裂為妙。