Feeling like a bull in a China shop

Foreigners learn pretty quickly that you cannot get very far in China without knowing at least a little bit of Chinese. You also learn very quickly that the ability to say ni hao and xie xie does not help you manage the more complicated tasks of say, opening a bank account, joining a gym or going to the beautician.

In my first two months in China I attempted to fill this communication black hole with a series of facial gestures, expressions and hand movements that are more commonly associated with pantomime. At times I have used props, brought in special guest stars and, quite often, I also have a bemused audience. In fact, the only thing missing is someone yelling out the popular pantomime warning "he's behind you" as I'm midway through my performance.

Of course, I take Chinese language classes four times a week to try to minimize my reliance on pantomime but at the moment my conversation points extend only as far as "that boy is tall" or "the fruit is expensive". I am still many months away from discussing my hairstyle or color preferences at the salon.

Among two of my best pantomime performances were showing a beautician what I thought was the best shape for my eyebrows and indicating to the Internet repairman about what I thought was wrong with the broadband connection.

But my best, some would say Oscar-worthy, performance was when I used my skills to schedule an international money transfer at the bank. Just think about this for a second: Exactly how do you explain international money transfer to someone when you don't share a common language? Well, let's just say that what would normally take about 10 minutes took me about 2 hours.

But oh, the glory when they finally understood me.

But alas, I never was much of a pantomime fan and although there is a certain art in the skills that I have developed, I cannot continue imitating animals in the supermarket. For now, the word "niurou" is permanently imprinted on my brain.