The Week January 8, 2010

Snowmen in carrot crisis

The heavy snow has sent the price of vegetables soaring in Beijing, which is bad news for salads, stir fries – and snowmen, as it's feared that carrots – the traditional hooter – may be considered too expensive to be used for nasal purposes.

Fruit has yet to record the price high, and Frosty pundits predict cheaper bananas will become the nose of second-choice. If so it is expected snowmen will be advised to moisturize in the strong sunlight that comes with the snow, in case their new banana nose should peel.

Woman goes into space

A car park especially for women is to be built at a shopping mall in North China.

The spaces are to be a metre wider than normal and there will be "women-friendly" colours. Other adjust for the ladies' transport ideas include pink traffic lights which will mean "you can go, if you've finished applying your lipstick". Double pink lines, which will be places only women can park, outside hair salons. And also pink number plates.

These all indicate the person driving the car is actually much, much safer, because statistics show that women cause only 3.5% of traffic casualties.

Chili in Hohhot

Three men were hospitalized after a red-pepper eating competition in a restaurant. Whoever ate the fewest numbers of peppers had to pay the bill. The bet took place in the capital of the Inner Mongolia autonomous region Hohhot, which coincidentally was the word used by the men to describe their own Inner Mongolia autonomous regions.

Splitting up is fun to do

A Chongqing woman has thrown a party after breaking up with her possessive boyfriend.

"He wouldn't let me speak to any other man, even my colleagues," said the woman. "He called me A Hundred Times a Day." The report didn't reveal her actual name.

Her celebration could inspire other "Break Up" parties. Invites will say "minus one".

Quirky news in brief

A woman has been rescued after being tied up in a hotel bedroom in Guangdong. She wrote her plea to be saved on a one-yuan note and threw it out the window. It was a kuai for help.

Still in Guangdong, a mouse caused chaos at a bank when it opened the safe by pressing the button. Security there has been dubbed "a Mickey Mouse operation".

A six-year-old girl has been master of ceremonies at more than 20 weddings in Liaoning province. There is speculation about what will happen though should a couple named anything other than Janet and John wish to write their own vows. Will the junior emcee's reading be up to it?

Panda Love

Ten giant pandas are heading to the Shanghai Expo, where they will go on year-long display.

At their Sichuan base, before getting on a chartered plane, they show they enjoy being on the Swing Swing which could also be one of their names.

Giant pandas are known for being sexually inactive, but after signs of intimacy there are hopes at least two pandas are preparing for the Mile High Club.

It's predicted the pandas will be a popular exhibit –drawing crowds of onlookers. Here, they've just seen a mirror.