Beijing's holy hell

The mortal realm

That said, many divisions instead deal with affairs of this world.

The Animal Department and the Department of Flying Birds monitor and equalize births and deaths to ensure balance on the planet. There's also a Department of Preserving Wilderness, which is somehow separate from the aforementioned taxonomic metrics of biomass equilibrium.

The Department of Jaundice deals with hepatitis, which was prevalent in unhygienic ancient times. It cures those who refrain from evil, engage in good and abstain from such vices as boozing, smoking and promiscuity.

And there are departments for the gods of Earth, rivers, cities and towns, rain - basically, everything in the corporeal realm.

Aside from the officials' offices, there are affirmations of even more important figures, mortal and immortal.

The temple hosts halls devoted to its founders; to Dongyue's son-in-law, San Mao, who was put in charge of life and death and all supernatural entities; and even to the Buddhist Goddess of Mercy - an acknowledgement of the rival religion's prevalence in past centuries.

Statues of the generals Heng and Ha guard the gate.

Heng carries a long spear and defeats enemies by snorting out two white lights that explode. Ha exhales yellow smoke that terrifies foes out of their wits.

Two locust trees twist skyward near the gate. One is said to be 800 years old and to deliver good luck and longevity. The other was where the god Wenchang legendarily sat to select meritocratic candidates for examinations and careers.

Near the trees stand replicas of the ancient statues of the White Jade Horse and the Bronze Wonder Donkey that Wenchang rode to the sanctuary.

Both are misnomers and talismans.

Touching the horse, which is in truth porcelain but looks like its namesake precious mineral, is believed to bring safety and financial success.

Rubbing the donkey - actually, an equine with a horse's head, donkey's body, mule's tail and bull's hooves - is said to cure illness.

They stand near the Imperial Tablet of Emperor Qianlong, chiseled in 1761.

The calligraphic account engraved in the ethnic Manchu and Han languages chronicles the temple's restoration. So does that of his grandfather, Kangxi, who oversaw repairs after a 1689 fire.

Both are perched inside pagodas, atop the back of the Dragon King's son, Bixi, whose tortoise-like shell allows him to carry heavy burdens.

They stand at the edge of the Stele Forest - a thicket of about 100 stone slabs, most of which commemorate ancient trade bodies' donations to the temple.

It seems even the afterlife's operations require both public and private funding.

Indeed, travelers who explore Dongyue Temple will discover much about ancient Taoism's conceptions of the afterworld and traditional Chinese perceptions of this world.

And they may find that - at least in Beijing - visiting hell can actually be a heck of a good time.